Insight

Your Favorite Is Making You Blind

Nearly 9 in 10 employees say they've witnessed favoritism at work. Here's what it's actually costing your leadership team and why the CEO is usually the last to know.

Every leadership team has one. The person the CEO lights up around. The one whose ideas get the most airtime, whose mistakes get the most grace, whose version of events tends to become the official version. Sometimes it's conscious. Usually it isn't. But everyone in the room knows who it is.

And that's the problem.

Not because favoritism is unfair, though it is. Not because it demoralizes the people who aren't the favorite, though it does that too. The real problem is what it does to the information the CEO actually receives.

When people believe the game is rigged, they stop playing. Not loudly, not with a resignation letter. They just quietly recalibrate. The unfavored employee stops bringing the problem that might go nowhere anyway. Stops volunteering the opinion that probably won't land. Stops putting up a hand in the meeting where someone else's hand is already predetermined to win. And the CEO, surrounded by a tighter and tighter circle of people who tell him what he wants to hear, starts making decisions on filtered data without knowing it.

I've seen this in leadership teams more times than I can count. The CEO will tell me the team is aligned. Meanwhile, half the team will tell me privately that they stopped bringing real problems to the table six months ago. That gap between what the CEO believes is happening and what's actually happening is almost always downstream of trust. And trust breaks fastest when people feel the rules don't apply equally. If you want to understand why psychological safety on an executive team is so hard to build, this is a big part of the answer.

The research backs this up in ways that should get a CEO's attention. Nearly nine in ten employees say they've witnessed favoritism in their organization. Forty-seven percent believe their manager has a clear favorite on the team. And the people who aren't the favorite don't just feel bad about it. They report less motivation, more emotional exhaustion, stronger intentions to quit, and less trust in their supervisor. That's not a morale problem. That's a performance problem wearing a morale problem's clothes.

I'll add this: in almost every team I coach, this dynamic is present. And it's never invisible to the team. The people who aren't the favorite know. They've known for a long time. The only person who's usually surprised when it comes up is the CEO.

Here's what makes this harder than it looks. The research from Personnel Psychology, a study of more than 200 teams and 1,100 employees, found that favoritism isn't uniformly destructive. In teams without clear structure or established hierarchy, having a leader who showed preference for certain members actually improved coordination and performance. The bias created a pecking order where none existed, and the team moved faster for it. But in teams that were already well-structured, the same dynamic tanked performance. Which means favoritism isn't simply bad. It's context-dependent and almost always invisible to the person doing it.

That last part is the one I come back to. The CEO who plays favorites isn't usually trying to play favorites. He genuinely thinks he's recognizing talent, rewarding performance, listening to his best people. What he can't see is that his best people became his best people partly because he gave them more airtime, more coaching, more benefit of the doubt. The favorite gets better. The unfavored get less practice. And over time the gap between them starts to look like evidence that the preference was justified.

The fix isn't manufacturing equal attention. It's building the kind of culture where the question gets asked out loud. Who isn't speaking in this room? Whose ideas aren't getting tested? Who would never tell me if something was wrong? Those questions are harder than they sound, especially for a CEO who's been rewarded his whole career for trusting his gut about people.

But the gut that got you here is the same gut producing the blind spot. And the team that's too polite to tell you that is the same team described in the founder bottleneck: capable people who've quietly stopped trying to change things they don't think will change.

If that's landing somewhere uncomfortable, it's worth a conversation. This is exactly the kind of thing the Six Shifts is built to surface.

Common Questions

What is workplace favoritism?

Favoritism at work is when a leader gives preferential treatment to certain employees based on personal connection rather than performance or merit. It shows up as unequal access to assignments, opportunities, feedback, flexibility, and recognition. It doesn't have to be intentional to do damage. The perception of it is often enough to break trust and change behavior across the whole team.

How common is favoritism at work?

More common than most leaders want to believe. Nearly nine in ten employees say they've witnessed favoritism in their organization, with 25% saying it happens all the time. Forty-seven percent believe their manager has a clear favorite on the team. And 56% of executives admit to playing favorites when making promotion decisions.

How does playing favorites affect team performance?

It depends on the team's structure, which is the finding most people miss. A 2023 Personnel Psychology study of more than 200 teams found that favoritism hurt performance on well-structured teams with clear roles and skill hierarchies. On less structured teams, it sometimes helped by establishing an informal pecking order that improved coordination. The problem is that most executive teams are well-structured, which puts them squarely in the category where favoritism does damage.

Does favoritism cause employees to quit?

Yes, and the numbers are significant. Two out of five U.S. employees say they are considering leaving their jobs, with perceived favoritism as a primary driver. One in five said they have already turned to freelancing or started their own business specifically to escape the bias they experienced in traditional workplaces.

How do you know if you're playing favorites?

The clearest signal is who speaks in your meetings and who doesn't. If the same two or three people carry most of the conversation and others have quietly stopped contributing, ask yourself whether that's a talent gap or a trust gap. Other indicators: whose mistakes get explained away versus scrutinized, who gets the high-visibility assignments, and who you go to first when you need a read on something. If those answers consistently point to the same people, you have your answer.

What can leaders do about favoritism at work?

Start by asking the people who aren't in your inner circle what they actually think. Not in a group setting where social dynamics will filter the answers, but one on one, with a genuine signal that you can hear things you don't want to hear. The goal isn't equal attention for everyone. It's building a team where merit and candor determine whose voice carries weight, not proximity to the person at the top.


Andy Hite is the founder of Scaling Minds and creator of the Six Shifts, a leadership operating system for executive teams at growing privately held companies. © Scaling Minds

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